Maybe

You ask me
Why am I so melancholic ??
have you left any reason for me to be happy..

Like the rest you came to me,
made me smile,
gave a reason to cherish life.

I laughed
and bloomed
and believed that life is all sunshine and gaiety.

And then like the rest you also left..
no consoling words,
Just an unknown compelling reason..
reconfirming my faith,
that it was always I who has been wrong..

A heart,
broken once again.
Trust,
murdered again..
Apprehensions,
turned true again...

I'll still smile,
and laugh,
and live,
but there won't be anymore glitter in my eyes...

Maybe I won't be so naive next time.
Maybe I'll learn my lessons..
Its not your fault,
I have always known,
Life's lessons are learnt the hard way...

Dreams or Nightmares...

Dreams are supposed to be beautiful,
Full of hope and strength
Angels and golden wings.
Then why don't I see them ?
Why do I see graveyards
whenever I think of green valleys.
Why is my vision filled with wilted flowers,
when I think of stars.
Why has despair replaced hope ?
Why has felicity forsaken her place for morbidity ?
Who is to be blamed ?
Why could I do nothing ?
As my dreams turned into nightmares....

In the throes of agony...

I cannot cry,
I cannot writhe,
lest they all know my grief.
But yes,
yes I can do this much,
I can let this one tear escape unchecked.
My heart,
I know you want to be expressed,
but truth is not what the world wants to see...

Moving On...

And I moved on,
leaving behind the rubble
of what was once you
And me...

What we had was beautiful,
But a mirage.
A vanquished dream,
that had to break someday.

I am no more desolate,
Nor self-deprecating.
I can smile again,
And feel the sunshine,
And live...

I have finally moved on!

Solitude

I loved him,
promised him sky,
and everything in it,
but could not give him what he desired.
He begged me,
but I was blind,
caught up in my own world,
I did not see him suffer.
Ravaged by his torture,
When he had nothing more to say
he just left
not a word,
nor a tear.

Like the ebbing tide
I called to him,
held my heart and cried for him,
but it was too late,
he was gone.
So I loved and lost...

All that I have now
are shrads of truth,
a hollow soul,
a broken heart,
and silence...

The pen wouldn't yield !

They say,
grief gives you the power to speak.

My heart is sore,
But the words wo'nt come,
The pen, wouldn't yield..

Emotions are raw,
And the mind is numb.
A cry is rising to my throat,
But my voice has forsaken me..

The tears have dried,
And memories are hurt,
Love again left unrequited,
But the pen still wouldn't yield...

The Other Self..

I haunt the graveyard
and befriend the spectres,
who roam around
mourning their unfulfilled wishes.

I spin the gossamer
of unrequited love and jealousy
blinding everything honest
and turn joy into grief.

I am that tiny voice in your head,
who makes you evil
and lets reason run amok
while happiness gets slaughtered.

I am not vile,
but I cannot see beauty
an unfaithful lover
who goes away with time.

You cannot banish me,
I am not in your dreams,
You did not conjure me,
but were born with me.